nowhere at all

Nowhere At All

On this anniversary,

my motif betrays that day’s antithesis.

Another year gone,

and how funny it is to try

and imagine you as a grown-up.

I guess it’s funny

to image me as a grown-up, too.

I wonder if there is somewhere you went,

from where you imagine what I must be like now.

I wonder if I’m even somewhere,

as I imagine what you must be like now.

Here doesn’t feel like anywhere in particular.

It feels just like nowhere at all.


I have to admit,

I struggle to celebrate.

I want to come and see you.


I bet it’s peaceful there.

Every moment here is a test of will,

and I can’t make sense of why

things should be this way.

But if you have wishes wherever you are,

I know you wish for me to stay.

So, stay I will.

That is your gift.

Or is it mine?


Happy Birthday.


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