badbye

Goodbye

i’ve never met a goodbye,

just so many bad ones.

You were the first.

someone left life’s window open

and You vanished like smoke.

no one told me You were burning,

maybe they thought i couldn’t understand,

or maybe they were too weak.

nobody told me,

“say goodbye to your Sister.

this will be your only chance.”

so we got ice cream, instead.

 

by the time i was finished,

so were You.

that was a badbye.

they stick in one’s throat,

suffocating.

i kept the bad with me for a very,

very

long time.

and now,

i occupy the furthest reach of bad,

where the only step which remains

is my own badbye.

 

yet,

i won’t leave Them that way,

They,

whom you never had a chance to meet,

i bet They’d Love You.

and since i know so well

what the bad can do

to a child,

i must retire this bleakness,

i must try.

and so i begin

with my first good farewell.

 

to my friend,

protector,

whom i miss very much.

i hope

that when i have accepted Yours,

i can begin to accept the others,

and that i might someday wield the strength

to offer my own.

so,

farewell.

I Love You.

Goodbye, Amanda.

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